accomplished twins. life is a go
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
