Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
