Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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