And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
FUCK WHALES
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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