Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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