just come out here and I will go home with you...
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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