How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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