is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize