I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
