I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
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3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
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do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The Olympian is in my bed
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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