3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
please don't ironically join a cult
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