Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
