Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
