You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
