i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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