You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize