At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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