My nipple is on Facebook.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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