when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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