Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize