wat bout pragnant strippers??
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
i now understand why vodka
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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