saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
