drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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