This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
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I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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