Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
