you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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