I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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