just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
