apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
