Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize