hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
He kissed a someone with a penis
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he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Best friends brother. Beat that.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
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i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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