i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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