I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
