My Higher Power is John Stamos
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
