There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize