we're blogging at a bar
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
