I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
