I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
