i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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