hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
