so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
