why didn't you poke me back
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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