toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize