Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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