we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
