i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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