The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
