Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
