I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize