So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
