We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
