you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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