i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
