Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked

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(631): View more from New York

she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.

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(480): View more from Arizona

How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?

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(631): View more from New York

She told me I should be a condom model.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.

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(406): View more from Montana

I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!

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(956): View more from Texas

I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"

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