in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
