party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
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I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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