yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
