He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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