so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
